You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i think i have herpe
just one?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
