I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
