she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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