let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
