Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
