i may or may not be watching the land before time
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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