I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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