So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
