If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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