I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
