alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
MIDGETS
????
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just forgot I was standing up.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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