Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
