So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
