ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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