she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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