so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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