I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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