I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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