he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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