Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
