I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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