They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
