You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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