so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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