there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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