i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
