dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
