I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
