So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
