Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
