Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
