He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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