U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Are we still banned from the library?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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