party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize
