The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
