I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
