im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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