Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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