Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
