drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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