Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
