so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
