Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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