He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
