dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
