So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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