Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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