No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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