The brown eye won't let me do that either.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize