watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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