when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
