I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
