a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
