How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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