know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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