is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
