my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
