after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
the gays at disneyland are vicious
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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