I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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