upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
