i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
